Friday night was busy. We had a party we went to and got home around 11:00 PM. After over-indulging in all of the sweet treats, I was foggy, sleepy and "hungover" on Saturday morning. While I did not start out mentally clear, I did end focused and ready to take on the week's challenge.
The task during the peer meeting this week was for one of us to tell our life story. I went first. We were to take 20-30 mins and share our life story. As I started telling the story of my life, it seemed that the minutes were going to drag on. However, as I dived into my life I found myself trying to wrap up for times sake.
People enjoy talking about themselves. I tried to speak carefully and directly as I shared my story. In my story I focused mostly on my romantic relationships and my relationship with God. I talked of how I have been on both sides of the spectrum (talking and walking the walk vs. not talking or not walking the walk), and how my relationships throughout my life have shaped me today.
In speaking of my past, it again brought up alot of emotions, both positive and negative. My peer partner recognized that I did not speak very much of my early childhood, in fact I neglected to mention my life from 3rd to 8th grade. In hindsight this is interesting, I spoke of this period as a pattern in my family that perpetuated a negative environment as a result of being stuck in a vicious cycle.
Again, revisiting this idea it is fascinating. My neglect for recalling these years directly reflects the pain. In telling my story from start to finish, I began to identify similar patterns in my behavior. I developed and discovered my own "Aha/coachable moments" in my life. The act of introspection and openness allowed for God to speak to me through my own story. My peer partner was also able (through a different lens) to pinpoint patterns of behavior.
How I responded to relationships in my life, how I only came to God at times of hopelessness and desperation. How that has turned around now at this point in my life.
In addition to "spilling my guts", we also had to decide on another coaching skill to work on this week. Since I was lead to work on using words with restraint last week, this week I chose to focus on noticing non verbals. In my interaction with others, it is interesting to observe their body language and eye contact and how that directly reflects their thoughts and words that they are saying. In essence I am trying to weave everything together so I can be the best coach I can be by the power of the Holy Spirit.
One of those key elements to be a successful coach is being an active listener. After reading the book on care giving, the very same thing that I perceived as a weakness in coaching is a strength in care giving. My fears of spreading myself too thin are obsolete now that I accept that my path is twofold. I am reminded on the poem, "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.
Two roads diverged in the a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Not saying that I will chose one path over the other, but saying to pursue both paths, I will be met with resistance. Not from others, but mostly from myself. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it. I don't want it to be easy, in fact I need it to be hard and so does God. I need to surrender to myself and let him guide my every thought and action.
Holy spirit fill me with the your presence so that I may bear much fruit.
But the fruit that comes from having the Holy Spirit in our lies is: love, joy,peace, not giving up, being kind, being good, having faith, being gently and being the boss over our own desires. Galatians 5:22-23
Wow. "Being the boss over our own desires." I am humbled by this as I realize this is the key to following my destiny.
Tonight is class. Tomorrow I meet with my peer for our meeting this week since I will be unavailable this weekend. I hope to post shortly after both, I realize that the longer I wait to post after my classes/ meetings, the more I have to sift through the events of the week to get to the heart.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Coaching Teachable "Aha Moments"
Tuesday was a rough day for me for a few different reasons. I went to the gym before class and struggled through a kickboxing class and then rushed home for class. Needless to say I was not feeling 100% and it was written all over my face.
While I did not participate alot in class, I did take several pages of notes this week. One of the first stories our trainer told us included self- disclosure about noticing the points of resistance as we learn the skills and also how coaching shifts our temperament. I appreciated this story, as I have noticed how I take on a new "persona" when I am coaching. Essentially I become more quiet and reflective and fully engaged in the moment. As part of my coaching goal this week I am working on speaking concisely and "packing a punch" with direct stories and responses.
The two main topics for class this week were Accountability and Teachable Moments. For accountability, we are to act a a stand in for God and take the role to partner with the person as they embark on their journey. I have had accountability for several things in my life and I can speak firsthand of the "partner" approach working better than the "parent" approach.
Teachable and coachable moments start with a specific experience. In that experience we are often highly emotional and conscious of what is going on around us. We talked about how the self help industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and while people pour their money into these things looking for a quick fix, the answer to have an "Aha moment" that can initiate change revolves around people and experiences.
While I did mention that I did not participate that much in class, I did share a story that happened a week ago and fit the definition of this type of moment. Interestingly, I did feel that after this moment happened and this break through occurred that this would be the perfect thing to share in class. I became grateful for having this intense moment and know it came directly from God.
So I shared my story, the same story that I shared a few posts ago about the connection from the past and present that I made. In diving deeper, we learned that the type of questions we ask can catalyze these types of moments. As coaches we need to be observant and intuitive, noting when the client may be struggling with something that they might want to discuss further. I would liken it to slowly adding small sticks to the fire, when you add small sticks of wood the fire tends to get bigger and bigger until something explosive happens. This actually reminds me of a verse we talked about in terms of a quarrelsome person adding to chaos, but I believe the same general principle can be applied here.
As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. Proverbs 26:21
"When we learn a lesson we pay for it with our life." This is so true. We go through trials and tribulations in life because ultimately it makes us grow as an individual, we can't just give contrite advice to someone and expect them to take it; instead we need to feel it and experience it for ourselves. Our lessons are guided by the holy spirit which gives us our own unique perspective. Our perspective coupled with insightful and thought provoking questions is what creates the coachable moment.
The types of questions to ask simply are to stay curious and dig more into what is happening and what has happened. We can ask all of the questions we want, but we know that God is the one who prepares these type of moments.
Taking all of this into consideration, along with my words to my peer partner last weekend about the need to share my story is greater than the need to stay guarded, it is no surprise that the God initiated moment I experienced and shared left one of my classmates thinking.
"Thank you for sharing that really helps me understand some things in my own life."
You never know who needs to hear your story. You never know what type of impact your story can have until you tell it. This gives me chills just reading it. God is great and he is using me to help others. This is my purpose. Not one choice of another (church ministry volunteer opportunity or life coaching) but both. Both share the same ideas while being different. Both opportunities will help me grow and allow others to grow. Both combine my passions. This is my heart and and I am grateful for the situations and circumstances God has placed me in that have lead me to this point.
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21
While I did not participate alot in class, I did take several pages of notes this week. One of the first stories our trainer told us included self- disclosure about noticing the points of resistance as we learn the skills and also how coaching shifts our temperament. I appreciated this story, as I have noticed how I take on a new "persona" when I am coaching. Essentially I become more quiet and reflective and fully engaged in the moment. As part of my coaching goal this week I am working on speaking concisely and "packing a punch" with direct stories and responses.
The two main topics for class this week were Accountability and Teachable Moments. For accountability, we are to act a a stand in for God and take the role to partner with the person as they embark on their journey. I have had accountability for several things in my life and I can speak firsthand of the "partner" approach working better than the "parent" approach.
Teachable and coachable moments start with a specific experience. In that experience we are often highly emotional and conscious of what is going on around us. We talked about how the self help industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and while people pour their money into these things looking for a quick fix, the answer to have an "Aha moment" that can initiate change revolves around people and experiences.
While I did mention that I did not participate that much in class, I did share a story that happened a week ago and fit the definition of this type of moment. Interestingly, I did feel that after this moment happened and this break through occurred that this would be the perfect thing to share in class. I became grateful for having this intense moment and know it came directly from God.
So I shared my story, the same story that I shared a few posts ago about the connection from the past and present that I made. In diving deeper, we learned that the type of questions we ask can catalyze these types of moments. As coaches we need to be observant and intuitive, noting when the client may be struggling with something that they might want to discuss further. I would liken it to slowly adding small sticks to the fire, when you add small sticks of wood the fire tends to get bigger and bigger until something explosive happens. This actually reminds me of a verse we talked about in terms of a quarrelsome person adding to chaos, but I believe the same general principle can be applied here.
As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. Proverbs 26:21
"When we learn a lesson we pay for it with our life." This is so true. We go through trials and tribulations in life because ultimately it makes us grow as an individual, we can't just give contrite advice to someone and expect them to take it; instead we need to feel it and experience it for ourselves. Our lessons are guided by the holy spirit which gives us our own unique perspective. Our perspective coupled with insightful and thought provoking questions is what creates the coachable moment.
The types of questions to ask simply are to stay curious and dig more into what is happening and what has happened. We can ask all of the questions we want, but we know that God is the one who prepares these type of moments.
Taking all of this into consideration, along with my words to my peer partner last weekend about the need to share my story is greater than the need to stay guarded, it is no surprise that the God initiated moment I experienced and shared left one of my classmates thinking.
"Thank you for sharing that really helps me understand some things in my own life."
You never know who needs to hear your story. You never know what type of impact your story can have until you tell it. This gives me chills just reading it. God is great and he is using me to help others. This is my purpose. Not one choice of another (church ministry volunteer opportunity or life coaching) but both. Both share the same ideas while being different. Both opportunities will help me grow and allow others to grow. Both combine my passions. This is my heart and and I am grateful for the situations and circumstances God has placed me in that have lead me to this point.
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21
Monday, September 21, 2015
Peer Session #2
So Saturday I woke up anxious for my phone call with my peer partner. After the compliments about my coaching on Tuesday, at the very end of the class I heard my peer partner say, "I have a problem with". My initial thought (unfortunately) was negative. There is something about me, or they have a problem with me. I did something wrong or said something wrong.
Ugh. My negative perception of myself is not only frustrating to me but it is also frustrating to the people around me. I honestly I do not try to be negative, it is an immediate reaction. One good thing is that after telling myself that it wasn't about me, I am doing well and it is not a negative comment towards or about me, I can usually stop letting it affect me. I go back to telling myself the truth and focusing on loving and accepting myself.
After determining the comment wasn't directed towards me, I was ready for the peer meeting. We connected and prayed and touched base and then something I never saw coming happened. My peer partner became emotional. Suddenly they went from being guarded to opening up and expressing true, genuine emotions. I felt such a sense of relief and comfort that they too are emotional and I am not the only one. I thought for sure that I had been pared up with someone who just wasn't emotionally expressive, but I was wrong. I am so glad that I was wrong.
Again, being vulnerable and authentic allows for true emotion to come out and establishes a deeper connection. In our meeting we shared takeaways from a bible study we did, our progress report for the goals we set, and a "milestone" story.
For our progress report on our goals, as I mentioned before I want to catalyze authenticity and used my opportunity around others to do so. In small group I opened up about feeling lonely and empty and seeking God in prayer and out of desperation he directed my path to where I am now, becoming a Christian life coach. After group this lead to a deeper discussion with one my small group leaders. While it was a friend talking to a friend I was touched that she could open up to me more. One of my thoughts about small group leaders in the past has been that they have to ask you how you are and keep tabs on your life. I am realizing that this is not the case, as it stems from a basic care and concern for others, a Christ-like compassion. The specific goal I focused on last week was not shifting in anticipation of someone completing their thought/response, and keeping eye contact with them while listening. I was able to do this while talking to my small group leader and I feel that this impacted her willingness to share and be more open.
For this week's goal I was stuck on what my next skill to work on would be. I prayed for guidance and direction and upon reading my devotional I was directed to a bible verse that lead me to my answer.
The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:27
So after our trainer said we need to consolidate our answers and stories so they "pack a punch" I feel that is the next step in my transformation. Being quiet and attentive while listening, yet speaking directly and concisely when appropriate.
I had a chance to work on that a little already, and I will work on it more as the week progresses, so stay tuned.
Going back to the peer meeting, I was asked about authenticity and how it is to be authentic and reach a stage 3 level of authenticity. Without giving it much thought I said
The need for me to share my story is greater than the need for me to stay guarded.
This really spoke to my peer partner and they asked where it came from. I said "Me. The holy spirit within me."
As I already know that we are not paired up by chance but by the divine inter-workings of God. How blessed we are to have each other to support and encourage. How blessed we are that we know that coaching is our next calling and we intend to fulfill the mission in which we have been called to do.
The funny thing about our mission is yet another opportunity has been laid out for me. This one is a specific position in my church as a CARE ministries volunteer. In this position I would be actively listening and showing empathy, but not pushing the person to a solution or any sort of goal status. So utilizing some of the skills I've learned but perhaps not holding that individual accountable for an action step.
I met with a person after church on Sunday to discuss this more. While I am intrigued by this idea, I know that it is different from coaching and need to seek council and guidance regarding where to invest my time/energy. (In both or one over the other?) My meeting with her ended with my next step to read a book she recommended and to make a comparison between the principles outlined in the book and my core coaching principles. After I read the book she wants to get together to talk about it over coffee. She also called me to encourage me to go to membership night next Sunday, I've always wanted to go but have been nervous. I do think that this is the perfect time and reason for me to go and learn more about the church and what I have to offer.
My hope is to borrow the book from someone in my small group and read it and attend membership class Sunday. As I sort through my ideas, thoughts and parallels of what coaching vs. care giving means I need to remember to be mindful and present and still so that I can hear when God speaks to me.
Looks like this is another long post, but I will say that I grateful to have this outlet and encouraged that my words can help and encourage others.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Ugh. My negative perception of myself is not only frustrating to me but it is also frustrating to the people around me. I honestly I do not try to be negative, it is an immediate reaction. One good thing is that after telling myself that it wasn't about me, I am doing well and it is not a negative comment towards or about me, I can usually stop letting it affect me. I go back to telling myself the truth and focusing on loving and accepting myself.
After determining the comment wasn't directed towards me, I was ready for the peer meeting. We connected and prayed and touched base and then something I never saw coming happened. My peer partner became emotional. Suddenly they went from being guarded to opening up and expressing true, genuine emotions. I felt such a sense of relief and comfort that they too are emotional and I am not the only one. I thought for sure that I had been pared up with someone who just wasn't emotionally expressive, but I was wrong. I am so glad that I was wrong.
Again, being vulnerable and authentic allows for true emotion to come out and establishes a deeper connection. In our meeting we shared takeaways from a bible study we did, our progress report for the goals we set, and a "milestone" story.
For our progress report on our goals, as I mentioned before I want to catalyze authenticity and used my opportunity around others to do so. In small group I opened up about feeling lonely and empty and seeking God in prayer and out of desperation he directed my path to where I am now, becoming a Christian life coach. After group this lead to a deeper discussion with one my small group leaders. While it was a friend talking to a friend I was touched that she could open up to me more. One of my thoughts about small group leaders in the past has been that they have to ask you how you are and keep tabs on your life. I am realizing that this is not the case, as it stems from a basic care and concern for others, a Christ-like compassion. The specific goal I focused on last week was not shifting in anticipation of someone completing their thought/response, and keeping eye contact with them while listening. I was able to do this while talking to my small group leader and I feel that this impacted her willingness to share and be more open.
For this week's goal I was stuck on what my next skill to work on would be. I prayed for guidance and direction and upon reading my devotional I was directed to a bible verse that lead me to my answer.
The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:27
So after our trainer said we need to consolidate our answers and stories so they "pack a punch" I feel that is the next step in my transformation. Being quiet and attentive while listening, yet speaking directly and concisely when appropriate.
I had a chance to work on that a little already, and I will work on it more as the week progresses, so stay tuned.
Going back to the peer meeting, I was asked about authenticity and how it is to be authentic and reach a stage 3 level of authenticity. Without giving it much thought I said
The need for me to share my story is greater than the need for me to stay guarded.
This really spoke to my peer partner and they asked where it came from. I said "Me. The holy spirit within me."
As I already know that we are not paired up by chance but by the divine inter-workings of God. How blessed we are to have each other to support and encourage. How blessed we are that we know that coaching is our next calling and we intend to fulfill the mission in which we have been called to do.
The funny thing about our mission is yet another opportunity has been laid out for me. This one is a specific position in my church as a CARE ministries volunteer. In this position I would be actively listening and showing empathy, but not pushing the person to a solution or any sort of goal status. So utilizing some of the skills I've learned but perhaps not holding that individual accountable for an action step.
I met with a person after church on Sunday to discuss this more. While I am intrigued by this idea, I know that it is different from coaching and need to seek council and guidance regarding where to invest my time/energy. (In both or one over the other?) My meeting with her ended with my next step to read a book she recommended and to make a comparison between the principles outlined in the book and my core coaching principles. After I read the book she wants to get together to talk about it over coffee. She also called me to encourage me to go to membership night next Sunday, I've always wanted to go but have been nervous. I do think that this is the perfect time and reason for me to go and learn more about the church and what I have to offer.
My hope is to borrow the book from someone in my small group and read it and attend membership class Sunday. As I sort through my ideas, thoughts and parallels of what coaching vs. care giving means I need to remember to be mindful and present and still so that I can hear when God speaks to me.
Looks like this is another long post, but I will say that I grateful to have this outlet and encouraged that my words can help and encourage others.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Rushing home from a coffee group and Creating Authenticity
As the title implies I had a very busy day on Tuesday. I went to a coffee group (get together) around 6:30 and I had to leave a little before 7:30 to make it home just in time to let the dog out, grab a drink and set up my connection to begin class.
While I was at the coffee, I did not want to leave. I was having fun visiting with friends and meeting new people. When 7:30 (7:25ish, actually) came around, I knew I had to leave, my weekly class meeting with my fellow classmate's is something that I look forward to every week. Despite me rushing around and rushing home and making it home just in time, a deep breath and a quick prayer and I was ready for what class had in store for me!
First we debriefed about our peer meetings. In my previous post I mentioned my concern with my vulnerability on the coaching side and client side, however my peer partner volunteered to provide feedback and mentioned several time that I did a great job, and I really provided challenging questions.
This was nice to hear, especially since I was not sure how the dynamic would be perceived. Again I was reassured that they are looking forward to working with me and they are so glad that they are working with me as their coach. Immediately this was like a warm sense of relief and empowerment that came over me in a wave. I remember thinking to myself alight, thank you Lord for more empowerment, confidence, and confirmation of my (your) current plan and (your) purpose.
The main focus of the week was to tell stories that would set the stage for others to be open and authentic themselves. The main idea is that in being authentic in our stories, when can better help the client be authentic. I feel that this is a strength of mine, clearly I have no problem expressing myself or a personal story (considering in every class demo I've volunteered for resulted in me fighting back tears or containing a strong emotion).
I shared a personal story with the class. I fully expected to become emotional while expressing this memory/story and even said it as a disclaimer before I began. I think what allowed for me to not become fully immersed is 1) It is a positive, powerful happy story that demonstrates God's amazing goodness and 2) We were given a 3 minute time constraint, so I wanted to make sure that I provided enough detail but was concise enough to stay within the limit. With these two things in the back of my mind (mainly the time limit) I told the story with voice inflection but no other outward expression of emotion.
There it is, I did it! I spoke of a powerful memory/story with authenticity and I was able to express my emotions with eye contact and voice inflection, rather than tears or a broken voice. If I can do that telling that powerful story, then I should be able to do that going forward! (Again praying for the holy spirit to provide me with the strength I need and his vision to see my future clients' stories from their perspective and also an ability to view my own through a new lens)
Again, God provided. I meet with my counselor and as we were discussing the week and mindfulness, it stirred up my reoccurring feeling of loneliness. Not letting me get away from this emotion, I was instructed to go back to an earlier time where I felt this emotion. In doing this I had an "Aha moment" that put everything into perspective for me. It was like the reason for my loneliness and sadness clicked.
Growing up in a family where alcoholism was present, I always felt like that alcohol was chosen over me. I remember pleading for my dad to stay with me early on, and of course the bottle won over the bond I was after. This is not to say that I had/have a unique and positive relationship with my father, I did and that may very well be the reason that his mental and emotional absence affected me so much. I felt like he chose alcohol over me and that something must have been wrong with me or I must not have been good enough because if I was then he wouldn't leave me.
Fast forward to here and now and the present time. My husband's daily absence is a everyday part of my life. Typically I can expect him home between 10:00-11:00 PM on the weeknights and when he does get home he still is working. On the weekends he is usually gone most of Saturday and part of Sunday. What clicked with me in the moment with my counselor is that I feel that he chooses work over me, over spending time with his family and that contributes to my feelings of loneliness and sadness.
To connect the dots, this parallels my feelings from childhood. Again feeling that time away from me was a choice and that it was inevitability going to lead me to loneliness and isolation. While I know this does not directly relate to coaching or my coaching journey, it indirectly does because the clarity and peace I've received from this revelation has impacted every other part of my life. I don't feel broken and hopeless to repeat the past or be an emotional mess as a coach. Instead I feel strong and empowered to take the tools, to take the brokenness and to take my story and use it with God's direction to help others.
This is exactly what the story a coach shares with a client should do. My notes from Tuesday say that the story needs to be concise, detailed, provide self- disclosure, an attitude of humility and ultimately focus on highlighting God's goodness. The goal of a personal story is to create an open environment that encourages sharing and also provides additional insight and a fresh perspective into the current obstacle they are experiencing. One caution is to make sure to not tell a story that provides a leading answer/meaning or implies a hidden suggestion of an obvious solution.
We were provided with a challenge question as we concluded class.
What ways is God giving you chances or opportunities to catalyze and build authentic relationships?
The obvious answer is by building relationships and deepening existing ones. I have small group tonight and with the power of the holy spirit I plan on taking that step and being authentic in order to catalyze a deeper level of openness within the group.
Next is my peer meeting on Saturday morning, so look for another post shortly after that!
Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
While I was at the coffee, I did not want to leave. I was having fun visiting with friends and meeting new people. When 7:30 (7:25ish, actually) came around, I knew I had to leave, my weekly class meeting with my fellow classmate's is something that I look forward to every week. Despite me rushing around and rushing home and making it home just in time, a deep breath and a quick prayer and I was ready for what class had in store for me!
First we debriefed about our peer meetings. In my previous post I mentioned my concern with my vulnerability on the coaching side and client side, however my peer partner volunteered to provide feedback and mentioned several time that I did a great job, and I really provided challenging questions.
This was nice to hear, especially since I was not sure how the dynamic would be perceived. Again I was reassured that they are looking forward to working with me and they are so glad that they are working with me as their coach. Immediately this was like a warm sense of relief and empowerment that came over me in a wave. I remember thinking to myself alight, thank you Lord for more empowerment, confidence, and confirmation of my (your) current plan and (your) purpose.
The main focus of the week was to tell stories that would set the stage for others to be open and authentic themselves. The main idea is that in being authentic in our stories, when can better help the client be authentic. I feel that this is a strength of mine, clearly I have no problem expressing myself or a personal story (considering in every class demo I've volunteered for resulted in me fighting back tears or containing a strong emotion).
I shared a personal story with the class. I fully expected to become emotional while expressing this memory/story and even said it as a disclaimer before I began. I think what allowed for me to not become fully immersed is 1) It is a positive, powerful happy story that demonstrates God's amazing goodness and 2) We were given a 3 minute time constraint, so I wanted to make sure that I provided enough detail but was concise enough to stay within the limit. With these two things in the back of my mind (mainly the time limit) I told the story with voice inflection but no other outward expression of emotion.
There it is, I did it! I spoke of a powerful memory/story with authenticity and I was able to express my emotions with eye contact and voice inflection, rather than tears or a broken voice. If I can do that telling that powerful story, then I should be able to do that going forward! (Again praying for the holy spirit to provide me with the strength I need and his vision to see my future clients' stories from their perspective and also an ability to view my own through a new lens)
Again, God provided. I meet with my counselor and as we were discussing the week and mindfulness, it stirred up my reoccurring feeling of loneliness. Not letting me get away from this emotion, I was instructed to go back to an earlier time where I felt this emotion. In doing this I had an "Aha moment" that put everything into perspective for me. It was like the reason for my loneliness and sadness clicked.
Growing up in a family where alcoholism was present, I always felt like that alcohol was chosen over me. I remember pleading for my dad to stay with me early on, and of course the bottle won over the bond I was after. This is not to say that I had/have a unique and positive relationship with my father, I did and that may very well be the reason that his mental and emotional absence affected me so much. I felt like he chose alcohol over me and that something must have been wrong with me or I must not have been good enough because if I was then he wouldn't leave me.
Fast forward to here and now and the present time. My husband's daily absence is a everyday part of my life. Typically I can expect him home between 10:00-11:00 PM on the weeknights and when he does get home he still is working. On the weekends he is usually gone most of Saturday and part of Sunday. What clicked with me in the moment with my counselor is that I feel that he chooses work over me, over spending time with his family and that contributes to my feelings of loneliness and sadness.
To connect the dots, this parallels my feelings from childhood. Again feeling that time away from me was a choice and that it was inevitability going to lead me to loneliness and isolation. While I know this does not directly relate to coaching or my coaching journey, it indirectly does because the clarity and peace I've received from this revelation has impacted every other part of my life. I don't feel broken and hopeless to repeat the past or be an emotional mess as a coach. Instead I feel strong and empowered to take the tools, to take the brokenness and to take my story and use it with God's direction to help others.
This is exactly what the story a coach shares with a client should do. My notes from Tuesday say that the story needs to be concise, detailed, provide self- disclosure, an attitude of humility and ultimately focus on highlighting God's goodness. The goal of a personal story is to create an open environment that encourages sharing and also provides additional insight and a fresh perspective into the current obstacle they are experiencing. One caution is to make sure to not tell a story that provides a leading answer/meaning or implies a hidden suggestion of an obvious solution.
We were provided with a challenge question as we concluded class.
What ways is God giving you chances or opportunities to catalyze and build authentic relationships?
The obvious answer is by building relationships and deepening existing ones. I have small group tonight and with the power of the holy spirit I plan on taking that step and being authentic in order to catalyze a deeper level of openness within the group.
Next is my peer meeting on Saturday morning, so look for another post shortly after that!
Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Coaching and Emotions - Where do you draw the line?
I never thought that being emotional was a bad thing, especially when it comes to coaching. I've always looked at the ability to empathize with other people and feel their pain as something that will benefit me as a coach. After my peer meeting yesterday morning, I realize that I do not know as much as I thought and that this emotional sensitivity might affect my ability to be a successful coach.
I want to be a successful life coach who will be able to help others achieve their goals and reach their ultimate potential. The question becomes then, is this something I can do while immersing myself into a deep emotional connection.
During the peer meeting we were to take turns coaching one another. I went first as the coach, only asking one or two questions, as the rest of the 25 minutes was filled by my peer partner's recap of the week and other things going on. One particular thing that was brought up was the deep feeling that this is their purpose and that they sense that this is God's will for them, to become a christian life coach and reach out to the community. They mentioned one specific way in which God was providing them with the tools necessary in order to reach those people in need and extend beyond their comfort level to help others.
I related to this, as I too feel that this is my calling and I have been blessed with the knowledge and wisdom to know that this is his plan, such that opportunities have already arose to put coaching into practice, thus opening several doors. In realizing that my peer partner's story reflected my own heart and journey, I became filled with joy and awestruck wonder that this person was placed in my life for a reason, again solidifying my path and purpose in life. The emotion at that point was a result of that understanding. The tears in my eyes as I listened were not of sorrow or pain, they were out of understanding and confirmation.
As a coach, I think that is important to stay emotionally connected to your client. I want them to be able see that I connect with them and share in their pain or discontentment. I want them to find comfort and security in my eyes and feel drawn to me to share their fears and hopes and worries and wishes. I want to be able to relate to them, and often I can find parallels to my own experiences as they mention their own. However here is the challenge, how can I draw on my own experiences to be a help to them and not get stuck in my own web of thought regarding my situations or circumstances?
I needed additional guidance on this topic, so I consulted our trainer for more insight. Her response was more than helpful. it seems that the balance is so calculated and it is so easy to be caught up thinking of our own issues that we must remember one word, "OBJECTIVITY".
Being objective seems to go without saying that you need to look at the situation with a fresh insight and new perspective in order to gain an understanding to be able to help the individual. She said that we will always compare what we hear to our own personal stories and the trick is being able to use our understanding of our own experiences to help the client understand their own experience. In this way it is ultimately about the client, but we can use our insight into ourselves to help reveal the insight in the individual.
I did not fully understand that until just now as I write this. It is not a hindrance to be able to become emotional, even on a spiritual level, it is a tool that one you realize you must acknowledge and then be able to step out of yourself and look at the situation from a different vantage point. I think as I continue to practice my coaching skills I am going to work hard to not become "callous" or even more objective in the face, instead I will focus on being objective in my mind.
In order to do this I think as I realize that I connect on a spiritual level I should thank God for this connection and the power of the strong emotion, and ask him to show me how he wants me to use this connection to be able to help the other person. I am going to try that as I continue on this journey!
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. Philippians 2:4
I want to be a successful life coach who will be able to help others achieve their goals and reach their ultimate potential. The question becomes then, is this something I can do while immersing myself into a deep emotional connection.
During the peer meeting we were to take turns coaching one another. I went first as the coach, only asking one or two questions, as the rest of the 25 minutes was filled by my peer partner's recap of the week and other things going on. One particular thing that was brought up was the deep feeling that this is their purpose and that they sense that this is God's will for them, to become a christian life coach and reach out to the community. They mentioned one specific way in which God was providing them with the tools necessary in order to reach those people in need and extend beyond their comfort level to help others.
I related to this, as I too feel that this is my calling and I have been blessed with the knowledge and wisdom to know that this is his plan, such that opportunities have already arose to put coaching into practice, thus opening several doors. In realizing that my peer partner's story reflected my own heart and journey, I became filled with joy and awestruck wonder that this person was placed in my life for a reason, again solidifying my path and purpose in life. The emotion at that point was a result of that understanding. The tears in my eyes as I listened were not of sorrow or pain, they were out of understanding and confirmation.
As a coach, I think that is important to stay emotionally connected to your client. I want them to be able see that I connect with them and share in their pain or discontentment. I want them to find comfort and security in my eyes and feel drawn to me to share their fears and hopes and worries and wishes. I want to be able to relate to them, and often I can find parallels to my own experiences as they mention their own. However here is the challenge, how can I draw on my own experiences to be a help to them and not get stuck in my own web of thought regarding my situations or circumstances?
I needed additional guidance on this topic, so I consulted our trainer for more insight. Her response was more than helpful. it seems that the balance is so calculated and it is so easy to be caught up thinking of our own issues that we must remember one word, "OBJECTIVITY".
Being objective seems to go without saying that you need to look at the situation with a fresh insight and new perspective in order to gain an understanding to be able to help the individual. She said that we will always compare what we hear to our own personal stories and the trick is being able to use our understanding of our own experiences to help the client understand their own experience. In this way it is ultimately about the client, but we can use our insight into ourselves to help reveal the insight in the individual.
I did not fully understand that until just now as I write this. It is not a hindrance to be able to become emotional, even on a spiritual level, it is a tool that one you realize you must acknowledge and then be able to step out of yourself and look at the situation from a different vantage point. I think as I continue to practice my coaching skills I am going to work hard to not become "callous" or even more objective in the face, instead I will focus on being objective in my mind.
In order to do this I think as I realize that I connect on a spiritual level I should thank God for this connection and the power of the strong emotion, and ask him to show me how he wants me to use this connection to be able to help the other person. I am going to try that as I continue on this journey!
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others. Philippians 2:4
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Our Two Hour Class & Game Plan for Peer Coaching
After having two 5 hour workshops, the two hour class seemed like a walk in the park At least that is what I thought going into it. It turns out that when you volunteer to be a demonstration for the entire class, it involves a little more sharing.
The question was simple, it was a prompt to think of something that you are dealing with right now. The immediate topic that came to my mind was my husband's absence and dealing with being alone most of the time.
The task was for my classmates to help me explore this topic further by listening well and asking the appropriate questions. They each took turns to ask me a question pertaining to my situation. It was nice to be heard. While some of the questions were easier than others, it was important for me let each of the questions sink in so I could put into words how I feel. I am glad that I was able to explore this topic with my peers, I already feel connected to them.
Yes, this is a short post, after the demo and debriefing we went over two worksheets and our assignments for this week. One idea I wrote down seems to be an important point, "Be real not religious." This goes with being authentic, and I feel that expressing myself and being real comes naturally to me.
After class our trainer sent an email letting us know who we would be paired up with to be their coach and also to be coached by them. This seems like it will be an interesting dynamic and beneficial for both of us in both areas.
I got who I wanted as my peer partner, we are really going to be able to help each other work through some roadblocks that will hold us back as future coaches and also interfere with our ability to listen. After tonight we have signed out agreement forms, scheduled meeting times and also disclosed what we would like to work on for the next few weeks. I am very encouraged and I feel like I will be able to help my peer partner through some things, even it means being even more vulnerable and more real myself.
I think the best way to get the most out of our meetings is to pray, I want to pray each time that the Holy Spirit speaks through me to reveal an important truth that needs to be discovered (or rediscovered). I think that I need to remember to not look into the future, but focus on the present and be mindful and fully aware. This means that I don't try to create breakthroughs, I simply need to explore their requested topic by asking the questions that are given to me by the Holy Spirit.
I am finding that this requires constant redirection. I constantly have to shift my focus and redirect my thoughts to focus on reflection. This is a skill that I want to practice more. A skill that I NEED to practice more.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Workshop- Day 2
This is a little overdue, the end of the workshop was on Saturday and tonight was the first two hour class.
I'll focus on main points from the second part of the workshop and address the main points of the class in the next post.
Listening is something that is under appreciated. The power of listening is a lost art. I have always thought of myself as an intuitive listener, and that was put to the test here. The way to begin to listen is to be curious, ask questions to gain understanding and not try to solve a problem or impose your advice on someone. That is way easier said than done.
We need to be true to ourselves. Our inner spirit and inner heart. In doing that we need to "stop and smell the roses". Being true to yourself and letting your true self out is the result of letting yourself be present and aware. There is so much power in the act of listening and letting your true understanding come through.
Something that spoke to me again as we discussed intuitive listening (i.e. reading between the lines and noting the indirect gestures of the individual) was the power of inner reflection and mediation. We as a society are so conditioned to go,go,go and we go through our to-do list in our head daily, searching our mind for the next thing. There is power again in stillness.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Through the listening exercises and also being able to practice asking the questions needed for further exploration, I discovered that when you listen and become fully present in the moment, the questions to ask just come without you having to search your brain trying to the think of a good question. As a class on day 2, we crossed a boundary and shared something personal with a peer. The act of being vulnerable is scary, but again as I shared and continue to share I have a peace when I become fully cognizant of my feelings.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Your security in your identity in Christ is what determines your level of openness. I think that when your search your heart and you try to define who you are in terms of earthly descriptions you lose sight of what is most important. We need to be secure in our identity in Christ in order to appreciate ourselves. One key phrase that I jotted down was, "Person receives acceptance from God and loses the fear of being rejected." This can not be more true. I need daily reminders of this continuous love and acceptance from our heavenly Father.
I have the most clarity when I pray for wisdom and discernment. I need to allow myself to ask for guidance and direction in ALL areas of my life. There are so many struggles daily that I wrestle with, and I think these are a result of me not saying out loud that I need the peace which transcends all understanding. I need to remember my self truth.
I unconditionally love and accept myself.
But do I? Do I unconditionally love and accept myself? I don't think so. I think that the holy spirit that is in me shows me acceptance and self love. From this acceptance and self love I am able to accept myself (even my flaws) because Jesus loves and accepts me.
We had homework also. We had to listen to an audio recording and practice listening to someone for 30 mins. I chose to actively listen to my husband for 30 mins.
That 30 mins was challenging, he is not one for long, emotional conversations and does not do well sitting still. I went out of wife mode and into "coach mode". I asked open-ended questions and took my tone of voice down and stayed connected in the conversation with eye-contact and body language. We discussed the residency and his feelings and also where his priorities are and where he thinks they should be. As part of the assignment he was to provide me with feedback about how he felt after. In general his feedback was encouraging. He said the conversation was thought-provoking and made him think. The questions I asked came naturally and were not forced. I was calm and reflective, which really allowed God speak through me to say some things that really hit home with him.
This is exactly the kind of thing that makes my heart happy. Helping others realize and understand God's plan for them and for them to know that he is with them every step of the way. This becomes especially important in my own life as I go through my own triumphs.
Week 2, (Day 1 of class) was also challenging, I volunteered again for another demo which allowed me to open up and speak my heart on a pressing issue.. More on that on the next post.
I'll focus on main points from the second part of the workshop and address the main points of the class in the next post.
Listening is something that is under appreciated. The power of listening is a lost art. I have always thought of myself as an intuitive listener, and that was put to the test here. The way to begin to listen is to be curious, ask questions to gain understanding and not try to solve a problem or impose your advice on someone. That is way easier said than done.
We need to be true to ourselves. Our inner spirit and inner heart. In doing that we need to "stop and smell the roses". Being true to yourself and letting your true self out is the result of letting yourself be present and aware. There is so much power in the act of listening and letting your true understanding come through.
Something that spoke to me again as we discussed intuitive listening (i.e. reading between the lines and noting the indirect gestures of the individual) was the power of inner reflection and mediation. We as a society are so conditioned to go,go,go and we go through our to-do list in our head daily, searching our mind for the next thing. There is power again in stillness.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Through the listening exercises and also being able to practice asking the questions needed for further exploration, I discovered that when you listen and become fully present in the moment, the questions to ask just come without you having to search your brain trying to the think of a good question. As a class on day 2, we crossed a boundary and shared something personal with a peer. The act of being vulnerable is scary, but again as I shared and continue to share I have a peace when I become fully cognizant of my feelings.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Your security in your identity in Christ is what determines your level of openness. I think that when your search your heart and you try to define who you are in terms of earthly descriptions you lose sight of what is most important. We need to be secure in our identity in Christ in order to appreciate ourselves. One key phrase that I jotted down was, "Person receives acceptance from God and loses the fear of being rejected." This can not be more true. I need daily reminders of this continuous love and acceptance from our heavenly Father.
I have the most clarity when I pray for wisdom and discernment. I need to allow myself to ask for guidance and direction in ALL areas of my life. There are so many struggles daily that I wrestle with, and I think these are a result of me not saying out loud that I need the peace which transcends all understanding. I need to remember my self truth.
I unconditionally love and accept myself.
But do I? Do I unconditionally love and accept myself? I don't think so. I think that the holy spirit that is in me shows me acceptance and self love. From this acceptance and self love I am able to accept myself (even my flaws) because Jesus loves and accepts me.
We had homework also. We had to listen to an audio recording and practice listening to someone for 30 mins. I chose to actively listen to my husband for 30 mins.
That 30 mins was challenging, he is not one for long, emotional conversations and does not do well sitting still. I went out of wife mode and into "coach mode". I asked open-ended questions and took my tone of voice down and stayed connected in the conversation with eye-contact and body language. We discussed the residency and his feelings and also where his priorities are and where he thinks they should be. As part of the assignment he was to provide me with feedback about how he felt after. In general his feedback was encouraging. He said the conversation was thought-provoking and made him think. The questions I asked came naturally and were not forced. I was calm and reflective, which really allowed God speak through me to say some things that really hit home with him.
This is exactly the kind of thing that makes my heart happy. Helping others realize and understand God's plan for them and for them to know that he is with them every step of the way. This becomes especially important in my own life as I go through my own triumphs.
Week 2, (Day 1 of class) was also challenging, I volunteered again for another demo which allowed me to open up and speak my heart on a pressing issue.. More on that on the next post.
Friday, September 4, 2015
First Day of School- Christian Coaching
This blog will focus on my journey as I go through Christian coach training under the lifeforming leadership program.
We had our first workshop last night. It was 5 hours of listening, writing, role-playing and asking questions. The 5 hours went by quickly with the help of a few small breaks in between lessons. While everything we talked about was beneficial in some way, there are some specific things that stood out.
After the initial introduction and technical talk, we dived into what a coach is and what a coach does. We also talked about the culture of a lifeforming coach and our responsibilities to our self, our clients and God. One message I wrote was we need to invite the Holy Spirit to transform us so we can transform other through Faith and believing that people are capable of stewardship. I believe some of that transformation in me occurred last night.
I don't even remember the question that was asked, but I remember my classmate's answer that spoke to me. In order to understand the gravity of the situation I need to provide a little background.
In a nutshell, due to a dysfunctional family upbringing and my husband becoming a passerby due to his schedule, I've been feeling lonely and abandoned. I've felt that something is missing in my life and I have never been able to fill that hole. I've turned to destructive behaviors to push down the emotions in the form of compulsive overeating as well as positive coping strategies through various types of exercise. I have been seeing a counselor for these issues and have really been trying to get at the root of why I feel so lonely. Through a intense session I admitted out loud to myself that I feel unworthy and not good enough, like I am undeserving. It felt good to verbalize but hard to hear. I know that I am highly critical of myself and I know that I am my own worst enemy. I think that is what attracted me to coaching, specifically Christian coaching, I really have felt that if I could help others realize their potential through God then I would finally be living up to my own.
Fast forward to one of the workshop activities where we had to answer a question. I cannot remember the specific question though I think it had something to do with what coaching could do to change people. One of my peers shared her answer that shed some light into my struggles and gave me hope as I face my situation.
She said that coaching will help people who feel unworthy or not good enough or undeserving to reach their potential be able to understand that through God they will be able to reach their full potential. Her answer caused an immediate emotional reaction, I felt the tears coming as I was trying to hide my face (since we all have webcams for class) Luckily for me there was a break shortly after her response.
God knows my heart, he knows my hopes and fears, struggles and victories. Hearing her answer, I felt that she was speaking directly to me, and she was in a way. It was God speaking through her, he was getting at the core of my desire and the crux of my fear. He was assuring me that this journey, this transformation is one that will not leave me as the same person I am now. All of that insecurity, worry and doubt will be gone when I reach my maximum potential. I feel that those words she said that so perfectly aligned with my description of my own feelings are evidence that this is my destiny to be coached and to coach others through God's word.
The gut -level response I experienced was overwhelming. I felt the immediate urge to get on my knees and praise God for that revelation and for lifting the burden and relieving the pain. I did just that and wept uncontrollably, not out of sadness or helplessness, but out of praise and admiration. He heard my heart and he spoke to me letting me know that my footsteps are following his path. I cannot even begin to explain the peace I felt afterwards.
As the workshop continued there was a time to volunteer for demonstration. The question was the think of something you would like to resolve immediately. The purpose of the demonstration was for her to show the wrong way and the right way to ask questions.
She probed a little, and I provided much background. I was honest in my answers and since my peers were told to note nonverbals, many of them picked up on my pain and trouble. I suppose I really am that transparent, but I also know that they are practicing be sensitive to these types of cues because as coaches we need to be able to read between the lines and connect the dots of our client's stories. As we focused on one a specific goal of me not baking anymore sweets, she help me come up with a solution to just avoid looking at recipes on Pinterest. The questions she asked were able to lead me to new insight and look at my situation in a way I hadn't before. If I am not tempted to "try new recipes" by looking them up on Pinterest where it is mostly sweets that show up, then I won't have the urge to bake. After coming up with this solution (in front of everyone) I've decided that I am going to try it. I want to report to my peers tomorrow for our second workshop that I have been successful and I am maintaining my end of the bargain.
Another activity we did was a listening activity. I learned that I am often focused on what my next question is or the next point I am going to make, and that I am not fully engaged or present in the moment. I have decided to be more present and aware and slow down and not try to anticipate the next thing. I know that while I can listen well, I need to not be so worried of other's approval (another thing my intuitive peers pointed out) I have all the approval I need as a child of God.
The final part of the workshop we went over two worksheets that helped us to identify that until God has his hand in that particular area of our life, we will forever just go around and around in a circle and never make the progress needed to advance to the next step. I have always said that I have faith and I do trust, but until you surrender your control and your will, you will not gain the insight you need.
It was a challenging, difficult, enlightening and amazing experience in this first workshop. God is at work changing my heart and as long as I have faith in him and I trust in him I will feel no more pain and he will move in those areas of my life that have long since seen the light.
After class was over I was exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, however I was am still at peace and steadfast in my decision to embark on this journey. The next workshop is tomorrow and I can not wait to see what is in store for me!
Phil 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 90:17
May the favor[a] of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.
We had our first workshop last night. It was 5 hours of listening, writing, role-playing and asking questions. The 5 hours went by quickly with the help of a few small breaks in between lessons. While everything we talked about was beneficial in some way, there are some specific things that stood out.
After the initial introduction and technical talk, we dived into what a coach is and what a coach does. We also talked about the culture of a lifeforming coach and our responsibilities to our self, our clients and God. One message I wrote was we need to invite the Holy Spirit to transform us so we can transform other through Faith and believing that people are capable of stewardship. I believe some of that transformation in me occurred last night.
I don't even remember the question that was asked, but I remember my classmate's answer that spoke to me. In order to understand the gravity of the situation I need to provide a little background.
In a nutshell, due to a dysfunctional family upbringing and my husband becoming a passerby due to his schedule, I've been feeling lonely and abandoned. I've felt that something is missing in my life and I have never been able to fill that hole. I've turned to destructive behaviors to push down the emotions in the form of compulsive overeating as well as positive coping strategies through various types of exercise. I have been seeing a counselor for these issues and have really been trying to get at the root of why I feel so lonely. Through a intense session I admitted out loud to myself that I feel unworthy and not good enough, like I am undeserving. It felt good to verbalize but hard to hear. I know that I am highly critical of myself and I know that I am my own worst enemy. I think that is what attracted me to coaching, specifically Christian coaching, I really have felt that if I could help others realize their potential through God then I would finally be living up to my own.
Fast forward to one of the workshop activities where we had to answer a question. I cannot remember the specific question though I think it had something to do with what coaching could do to change people. One of my peers shared her answer that shed some light into my struggles and gave me hope as I face my situation.
She said that coaching will help people who feel unworthy or not good enough or undeserving to reach their potential be able to understand that through God they will be able to reach their full potential. Her answer caused an immediate emotional reaction, I felt the tears coming as I was trying to hide my face (since we all have webcams for class) Luckily for me there was a break shortly after her response.
God knows my heart, he knows my hopes and fears, struggles and victories. Hearing her answer, I felt that she was speaking directly to me, and she was in a way. It was God speaking through her, he was getting at the core of my desire and the crux of my fear. He was assuring me that this journey, this transformation is one that will not leave me as the same person I am now. All of that insecurity, worry and doubt will be gone when I reach my maximum potential. I feel that those words she said that so perfectly aligned with my description of my own feelings are evidence that this is my destiny to be coached and to coach others through God's word.
The gut -level response I experienced was overwhelming. I felt the immediate urge to get on my knees and praise God for that revelation and for lifting the burden and relieving the pain. I did just that and wept uncontrollably, not out of sadness or helplessness, but out of praise and admiration. He heard my heart and he spoke to me letting me know that my footsteps are following his path. I cannot even begin to explain the peace I felt afterwards.
As the workshop continued there was a time to volunteer for demonstration. The question was the think of something you would like to resolve immediately. The purpose of the demonstration was for her to show the wrong way and the right way to ask questions.
She probed a little, and I provided much background. I was honest in my answers and since my peers were told to note nonverbals, many of them picked up on my pain and trouble. I suppose I really am that transparent, but I also know that they are practicing be sensitive to these types of cues because as coaches we need to be able to read between the lines and connect the dots of our client's stories. As we focused on one a specific goal of me not baking anymore sweets, she help me come up with a solution to just avoid looking at recipes on Pinterest. The questions she asked were able to lead me to new insight and look at my situation in a way I hadn't before. If I am not tempted to "try new recipes" by looking them up on Pinterest where it is mostly sweets that show up, then I won't have the urge to bake. After coming up with this solution (in front of everyone) I've decided that I am going to try it. I want to report to my peers tomorrow for our second workshop that I have been successful and I am maintaining my end of the bargain.
Another activity we did was a listening activity. I learned that I am often focused on what my next question is or the next point I am going to make, and that I am not fully engaged or present in the moment. I have decided to be more present and aware and slow down and not try to anticipate the next thing. I know that while I can listen well, I need to not be so worried of other's approval (another thing my intuitive peers pointed out) I have all the approval I need as a child of God.
The final part of the workshop we went over two worksheets that helped us to identify that until God has his hand in that particular area of our life, we will forever just go around and around in a circle and never make the progress needed to advance to the next step. I have always said that I have faith and I do trust, but until you surrender your control and your will, you will not gain the insight you need.
It was a challenging, difficult, enlightening and amazing experience in this first workshop. God is at work changing my heart and as long as I have faith in him and I trust in him I will feel no more pain and he will move in those areas of my life that have long since seen the light.
After class was over I was exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, however I was am still at peace and steadfast in my decision to embark on this journey. The next workshop is tomorrow and I can not wait to see what is in store for me!
Phil 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 90:17
May the favor[a] of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.
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