Friday night was busy. We had a party we went to and got home around 11:00 PM. After over-indulging in all of the sweet treats, I was foggy, sleepy and "hungover" on Saturday morning. While I did not start out mentally clear, I did end focused and ready to take on the week's challenge.
The task during the peer meeting this week was for one of us to tell our life story. I went first. We were to take 20-30 mins and share our life story. As I started telling the story of my life, it seemed that the minutes were going to drag on. However, as I dived into my life I found myself trying to wrap up for times sake.
People enjoy talking about themselves. I tried to speak carefully and directly as I shared my story. In my story I focused mostly on my romantic relationships and my relationship with God. I talked of how I have been on both sides of the spectrum (talking and walking the walk vs. not talking or not walking the walk), and how my relationships throughout my life have shaped me today.
In speaking of my past, it again brought up alot of emotions, both positive and negative. My peer partner recognized that I did not speak very much of my early childhood, in fact I neglected to mention my life from 3rd to 8th grade. In hindsight this is interesting, I spoke of this period as a pattern in my family that perpetuated a negative environment as a result of being stuck in a vicious cycle.
Again, revisiting this idea it is fascinating. My neglect for recalling these years directly reflects the pain. In telling my story from start to finish, I began to identify similar patterns in my behavior. I developed and discovered my own "Aha/coachable moments" in my life. The act of introspection and openness allowed for God to speak to me through my own story. My peer partner was also able (through a different lens) to pinpoint patterns of behavior.
How I responded to relationships in my life, how I only came to God at times of hopelessness and desperation. How that has turned around now at this point in my life.
In addition to "spilling my guts", we also had to decide on another coaching skill to work on this week. Since I was lead to work on using words with restraint last week, this week I chose to focus on noticing non verbals. In my interaction with others, it is interesting to observe their body language and eye contact and how that directly reflects their thoughts and words that they are saying. In essence I am trying to weave everything together so I can be the best coach I can be by the power of the Holy Spirit.
One of those key elements to be a successful coach is being an active listener. After reading the book on care giving, the very same thing that I perceived as a weakness in coaching is a strength in care giving. My fears of spreading myself too thin are obsolete now that I accept that my path is twofold. I am reminded on the poem, "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.
Two roads diverged in the a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Not saying that I will chose one path over the other, but saying to pursue both paths, I will be met with resistance. Not from others, but mostly from myself. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it. I don't want it to be easy, in fact I need it to be hard and so does God. I need to surrender to myself and let him guide my every thought and action.
Holy spirit fill me with the your presence so that I may bear much fruit.
But the fruit that comes from having the Holy Spirit in our lies is: love, joy,peace, not giving up, being kind, being good, having faith, being gently and being the boss over our own desires. Galatians 5:22-23
Wow. "Being the boss over our own desires." I am humbled by this as I realize this is the key to following my destiny.
Tonight is class. Tomorrow I meet with my peer for our meeting this week since I will be unavailable this weekend. I hope to post shortly after both, I realize that the longer I wait to post after my classes/ meetings, the more I have to sift through the events of the week to get to the heart.
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